How to reframe your attitude when you cannot change your situation? (Assignment #6)
Reframe your attitude and the suggested reading material for the same question was given later on.
Now the answer for this question:
- Reframe your attitude by changing your thinking –
- One needs to introduce positive thoughts to get over with the negative thoughts. This can be understood from the following analogy: when we have dirty/muddy water in a glass and we want to clean it – what do we do then? Do we add more mud/dirt in the glass or more clean water? Everyone knows the answer – we fill it with more clean water. The method to reframe your attitude is simple and yet difficult to understand and adapt in life. So, rather brooding about a situation we can’t change or control, we should put an effort to bring a change in the way we think.
- Start examining the story you are telling to yourself –
- Most of us carries a tendency of either blaming ourselves or others for what is happening to us. We either blame someone else for our difficulties or we start playing the role of a victim. This condition of victimhood is what takes us on a negative path. So we should start questioning ourselves – whether the story we are telling is serving your highest good or not. Whether it is leading you towards an increased ‘self’ awareness or not. To Reframe your attitude one needs to take this challenge of looking inwards and look for our own limitations, in order to shed those barriers. Make it a point to conquer your self – defeating thoughts with positive thoughts. Give time to yourself to think in this light.
- Laugh when it hurts
- As Herbert Procknow states, “A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable”, so we should laugh – no matter what comes. Change is the only permanent thing – so we move from happiness to pain and then pain to happiness and so on… What we need to remember is when we are at the lowest, we should remember that this isn’t going to last either, like the old happy days – “This too shall pass”. So one needs to laugh and keep moving forward with positive thoughts.
- Change your mood
- You should try to change your mood by engaging yourself into different activities like listening to music, hanging out with friends/kids, go to watch some movie or event that you like, engage into spontaneous acts, etc.
- Do something that makes you feel good about yourself
- Not all days/situations are going to be the same. One needs to trust the process of life and have faith that whatever situation you are put into is, is for a reason and for you to learn a lesson. Once you have learnt the lesson, it will be time for you to move on. And if the lesson isn’t learnt, then we will be bound to face that trouble again and again. Write down a “gratitude list”, which comprises not only of the material things you possess, but a list of what you are grateful for. So when the time isn’t right, we have more reason to think about things we are grateful for. Change your behaviour – create something, tap your energy (go for a walk, learn a new sport, etc.), form new habits (its never too late to learn something new – engage into some new activity), change your relationships (whom do you want to be associated with), etc. So, in short, you need to reframe your identity (as per the situations), correct and check the negative self – talk, and take time out for your own ‘self’.